STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
