You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
