Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
