i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
