he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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