I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
