I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
