I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
