do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize