I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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