last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
