Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize