so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
