is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize