Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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