is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
