Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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