You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
