He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
