Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
