the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
