I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
