Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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