Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize