Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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