He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
