I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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