lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
