ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This baby is an asshole
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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