That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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