what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
