We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
