Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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