i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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