I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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