Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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