highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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