If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
