Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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