brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
