Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
