I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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