2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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