Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
