this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
