I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
