Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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