Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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