My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize