Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
