Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i came on her dog
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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