Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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