I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
