Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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