We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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