Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
