someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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