wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
