4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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