Walk of Shame. In a state park.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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