We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
