Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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