Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
