I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
