I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
