Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
