My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you inspire me to be a worse person
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The Olympian is in my bed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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