I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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