dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
