I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
