Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
