all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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