just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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