you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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