Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
