am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
