THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
