just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize