Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my phone needs a breathalizer
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
