I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
