Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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